In November I wrote a blog detailing what went right, and what went wrong for me in 2014. I've been putting off the follow-up to it, because I was not really sure where I should be going. The reality is that over the past few weeks, I've had to do some real honest self-evaluation and that's never a pretty thing to do. I suppose I avoided doing that, because I had an idea of what I needed to do, but the cold hard reality of why I needed to it, and what had been holding me up from doing it was immobilizing me. Today though, I acknowledging what those issues are, and I'm going to take steps to go forward, and deal with those things.
The move to Austin in 2014 was great, I love my job, I love being here, I'm as happy as can be with that. I love spending time with the family, sharing adventures, I'm happy with those things. Where I'm dissatisfied, is when I look in the mirror. I don't like the guy I'm seeing there. A few years ago, I worked at diet, I worked at fitness, and I dropped over 50 lbs in pretty short order. Since then though, I've made stabs at different diets, and even when I made progress, I lost my will to succeed and gave up. I used the travel excuse, and it is a challenge to eat healthy when you are on the road, and have to eat out 6-9 meals a week. All those things contributed (along with Migas, Tex-Mex, BBQ, and Chicken Fried Steak), to see me put all that weight back on. I look in the mirror, and I'm genuinely upset.
November 2013 thru mid-June 2014, I was a practicing son of a gun. I religiously did my dry fire, I weekly got in my live fire, and I saw good progress in my shooting skills. When I accepted the new job, and got caught up with packing, and moving, I started to drift away from shooting, not out of choice, but I just did not have the time with the huge life changes we were experiencing. When I got to Austin, I wanted to explore, get Linda and Lauren excited about living here, and there was some shooting involved, but not a lot of practice, and I think we all know what happens when you don't put in the practice time.
Both the fitness and the practice tie in to my focus for 2015 though. In that last blog, I think I correctly identified things that I'm doing strongly, and some serious shooting shortcomings. I looked up my last El Presidente that was an official classifier, (March of '14) and I ran 7.62 seconds, 56 points and a 7.35 HF which was about a 71%, and that was a solid "B" run. Several weeks ago, I ran it in practice, my best time was 5.35 seconds, 50 points, and a 9.28 HF, which is about a 90% run. My draw, reload, splits and transitions are solid enough to get me into "A" class. Runs were between 5.35 and 5.92. My biggest issue has always been consistent points, but I'm finally able to feel that I'm starting to see my sights well going fast. The video below shows some good to it, but it also shows where I was inconsistent. That's going to be a big focus for 2015, getting consistent.
Fixing my draw, and getting a little elbow bend has really been all I have accomplished the past three months in practice, which sucks, but for me that's been the first step in being more consistent, and shooting more points. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm actually improving. That's the one thing I'm going to build on.
Shooting:
In IL, Les partnered me up with Dave to begin "Plan B", and it was interesting, undertaking the process, going to classes, working classifiers, setting up dry fire routines with, and committing to weekly live fire with someone I had never met prior to that. Once "Plan B" was complete, I got to "tag along" with Les and Kozy, and both are intense (in very different ways) but our live fire had them on a whole 'nother playing field than me. I did however, not miss sessions, I went, I learned, and I made progress. I knew that if I did not show up, I'd hear about it, I'd be given a ration of shit. I fed off of that intensity, and it helped me be honest with my own practice habits. The past few weeks, I realized how much that meant, and how easy it is to say "I'm busy, I have something else I need to do, it's just this one time...." I can't allow myself to do that, and practicing with someone else is just something I need right now to help me keep my commitment. Is it a sign of weakness to say I'm not able to do it solo? Maybe, but no matter how much I want something, it's always easier for me to have someone to share the experience with. I'd talk to Dave, Les, and Kozy during the week, we'd talk shooting, talk drills, I was bouncing ideas, I had technique help, or par time assisted, I'd be given suggestions on drills to work to help what I wanted to fix, and I had people who were invested in me. People that I fought equally as hard to accomplish my goals because I wanted them to be proud, feel their investment in me was worth their time.
In the above video, look at the "thumbs up" reaction when Linda did well on a classifier from Les and Kozy, and look at the heads down, disappointment from both of 'em when I blew the run, and lost my cool. Those guys bled for me. I can't thank them enough, for that, and while I know they still do, I need someone daily in my face for 2015 to work with.
That leads me to resolution one. I need a practice partner to push me. Timmy is a "Pro GM", and he runs a lot of solo drills, and does his stage work with another GM, so I'm not seeing that. Linda and I talked about it, but it means a different level of commitment from her, and there are some pluses and some definite minuses to working with her in 2015. I don't want it to be easy to say "another day" when it comes to practice. That said, there are a couple of other people that are good enough, or strong enough shooters that I think I could learn from, and still bring something to the table with.
Resolution two is that I'm going work on things I'm not good at. Draw, transitions, those things may be low hanging fruit, but those will improve without a high focus on them right now. I'm seriously lacking in field course skills, I need work on position entry and exit. I need work on strong hand and week hand, and I really need work on shooting on the move. Watching video's over the course of the year, I realize that if I was bad at something, I shot to avoid it. I would go position to position, and would cost myself all sorts of time, which means I also need to stage plan to incorporate those skills I'm working on.
Resolution three, is that I'm going to keep my cool all the time. Little mistakes are not going to bother me. I see video's where I know I made a mistake and either all out melt down, or swear, and let it impact my next few shots. Mistakes happen, that's not a problem, but it becomes a problem if when a mistake causes me to keep making more. I need to cut that off. The QB who throws an interception, the DB who gives up a long TD. Short memory, stay focused.
Improving on field courses is not really a resolution, but it's going to be the result of how I want to practice this year. I want to shoot some major's, and finish within my "class" to the winners. If I earn my "A" here shortly, then I want to shoot 75% at least of what the winner shoots. Right now, I know I can't do that.
Fitness:
This is a big part of what I'm missing. When I've had to shoot 10-12 stages in a day, I've been exhausted, burned out, and done for before I was done shooting. Being physically out of the game, took me mentally out of the game, and I'm just not going to keep putting myself in that position. In addition, I need an awful lot more quickness, and explosion in my game, and getting in shape will play a huge part in that. I break down fitness into a couple of categories.
Weight loss, I've done the goofy diets, I've tried the stupid replacing a meal with a shake, eating certain size containers of food, and for different reasons they've been tough. You know what's worked for me? Counting my calories. When I went thru my weight loss before, I used My Fitness Pal, and in 6 months of using it, I never once went over my allotted calories. That taught me not just about portion control, but it taught me how to eat to keep sugars, salts and other key parts where I needed them to be. The other part of that successful run, was that I did it at the same time as some other work folks, and it was a daily competition sort of things, that kept me on my game, kept me motivated. I'm going to be a little more willing to have a "cheat" day here or there, but I'm going to use this to build the right habits, and keep them. Trying to be "perfect" made things harder than they needed to be, and I'm not saying I'm going to the other extreme, that I'll cheat every single day. When someone comes to visit this year, I can go out for BBQ, or I can enjoy some higher calorie Tex-Mex. I can't do it every day, and I may end up working out harder, but keeping sensible, and in moderation work. Project eat right begins on Monday the 5th. I'm not gorging myself, but there are a couple of Guinness in the fridge, and when they are gone, they'll be gone for awhile.
Fitness. Again, last time I lost weight, I was on the treadmill for at 30 minutes to an hour every single day, with no breaks, no days off for five months. Insane right? Everyone knows that your body needs a break here and there, but I was deathly afraid that if I skipped one day, it would let me skip another day, and it would spiral out of control. That's garbage, and I know it. I've got more will power than that. I'm breaking my workouts into both cardio and strength. Treadmill for the time being because every hotel fitness room has one, and I have one at home, and I'm shopping elliptical now because I think it provides a better benefit for my time invested than just a treadmill. Going to keep doing the miserable 7 day aerobic with weight routine I did in October, I hated it, but even I saw improved flexibility, and cardio plus weight work is good. The last part is a decision on either free weights, or looking at bow flex. I'm not 100% sold, but I want a workout that I can run both at home, and when I'm on the road.
The reality is that when I'm on the road, I'm not a drinker, I don't go out to bars, and after my last call, and unless I'm taking a customer to dinner, I'm back in my room by 7pm. I have ample opportunity to both workout, and to get in 30-40 minutes of dry fire. The short version is that I've got no reason not to accomplish my goals.
Summary:
I have been, and am the biggest reason that I have not hit my 2014 goals. Setting aside the other stuff, I did not accomplish what I wanted to accomplish because I did not put in the work, or make the effort I needed to make. How's that for a bit of honesty? When I lost my 50 lbs a few years ago, when I went from D to B in 5 months, I did it because I was committed, invested, and motivated. I was none of those things for the 2nd half of 2014, and I regret that. A night shoot, my last match, reminded me how passionate I am about shooting, and also how much I miss Les and Kozy. Those fuckers are working, why aren't I?
I'm committing to 4 workouts a week for now.
I'm committing to hitting my calorie goal 28 days a month, and NEVER being more than 10% over on a cheat day.
I'm committing to finding a practice partner.
I'm committing to 10% of my dry fire to strong hand/week hand drills, all year long.
I'm committing to 5 dry fire sessions of at least 30 minutes a week.
I'm committing to at least one live fire session of 200-250 rounds per week.
I'm going to lose 10 lbs a month for the next 5 months, we'll see where I'm at then, and plan the rest of the year.
I'm going to shoot 75% of a winners points in at least one major match in the 2nd half of 2015.
I'm going to earn my "A" card.
I'm going to reach 90% of points shot in a major match.
I'm going to keep my cool, and not melt down.
I need to sit down with Les, and pick his brain, and put together measurable goals and run 30 day rotations on my drills to keep things fresh, and challenging. I'm need to determine what dry fire practice will help me most with ports, positions, and so on. I need to set-up tier goals that work for me.
Realizing that I'm getting into 3-Gun this year, those goals are separate. I'm not focused, nor am I committed to it, I'm doing it for fun. Will I practice shotgun reloads? Sure, but I'm not going to focus on them, 3-Gun could be a 6th dry fire day during the week. I'm going to enjoy it, but I'm going to achieve my USPSA goals this year. I want to know I took myself as far as I could commensurate with what I'm able to commit.
The biggest thing I'm going to do, is I'm going to be honest with myself, and I'm going to stop and frequently evaluate what I'm doing. If something is not working, I'm not going to beat my head into a wall doing it over and over, I'm going to find another way to get the solution. I'm going to keep doing things that make me better, and I'm going to be honest when I'm not putting in the effort I need.
I've got a ways to go, but the last few weeks helped me realize that if I take responsibility for my goals, and my actions, only then will I accomplish what I set out to do. That sounds small, but sometimes it's the little things that get away from you. I'm done making excuses. In December 2015, I want to be a thinner, healthier, more fit, person, who is taking a winter shooting break, and able to say "yep, I rocked out 2015 to the best of my ability and left it all out there."
