Friends,
Confession time. I am an awful parent. It's true, what it took for me to come to that realization is a recent article in the NY Daily News by Gersh Kuntzman. I read thru his piece, and his follow-up and it got me thinking. You see, I've taken my own daughter shooting, and I never really considered the "bruising" or "short term PTSD" she was suffering from when I did that. I never thought about
"the smell of sulfur or destruction" (Speaking of, is that what destruction smells like? I wasn't quite sure, I thought his description smelled like bullshit, but I've been wrong before.) Heck, I did not realize that I was making her "anxious or irritable", his erroneous definition of PTSD. Finally, I did not realize the the explosions were "loud, like a bomb." Evidently Gersh has more experience in New York, in his "safe space" about what bombs sound like than I do, I'll have to take his word for it.
My ten year old daughter shoots, and I'm not ashamed of that, but other than friends, I don't generally advertise that fact either. Until I read Mr. Kuntzman's article, I can tell you exactly what I thought it had done for my daughter. You see, Lauren has shot some shotgun, some AR, and some pistol, and more than that, she's spent some time with me at matches, and I can run down some of things that I thought she had learned.
Be Strong, Overcome Your Fears:
I picked up a gun for the first time at 39, so I admit, I was nervous, even a little afraid the first time that I went to shoot. I mention that because it helps me relate to her. At 7, she was nervous picking up a .22 and shooting it, under supervision, at the range. That was 3 years ago, in the last year she's fired slugs from a shotgun, (which if you've run one, you know that's where the recoil is), she's run a full-size AR-15 (she has her own in .22), and recently she graduated to her own 9mm pistol from a .22.
She became stronger, she found out that she had inner courage, and the strength to conquer her fears. Moving from IL to Texas was a big change, and growing up presents all sorts of challenges, I'd always thought it was important to instill that self confidence in her, but perhaps I went about it the wrong way?
You Want It? Earn It!:
I've put in varying levels of practice shooting USPSA, and I've seen my performance peak, and then drop. My daughter has also seen how good people become when they put in the hard work. Math was a subject that she never really cared for, but this year I watched her ace it, and do it with confidence. At the beginning of the year she told me she wanted to be in the "top" spelling group, so I watched her work, practice, and achieve her goal.
The thing is, she learned her lesson both watching me, and watching friends, and then she applied her lesson, with very little encouragement needed from my wife or I. It's funny, she sees Bernie Sanders talk, and she get's upset that there are so many people out there who feel entitled to things, and want thing without having to work for them.
Yeah, evidently that doesn't fit in with the mainstream millennials these days.
Help Strangers:
At a recent match, we were having problems with a gun running smoothly, and while a friend came up to help, a random person at the match came forward, ran to his car, and gave me a $10 part. I don't know who he was, had never met him, and he refused to take the money for it. I expected her to ask me why the guy did that, but when I did not get that question, I asked her, "Why do you think that he helped us?" Her answer was elegant for a ten year old "Gee Dad, that's what shooters do, we help each other at a match, we all want to have fun, now you have to help someone too."
Conclusions:
Those are just a few of the little things. I won't speak at length how a shy, young girl, found more confidence being with adults. It may not apply how she has spent time working to help set-up matches (even when I did not) because she wanted to help a club succeed. All things that I was proud of, at least until I had to reconsider what kind of damage I was doing to her psyche, much less her shoulder.
Mr. Kuntzman posted several responses in his follow-up article, and being honest, I see some angry people, and of course cherry picking them is easy, and it makes a point, even if it's a little disingenuous. Of course that's something that Mr. Kuntzman should be familiar with, notice he apologized for saying his experience was "short term PTSD", because I think we all know that it's not true, he was just saying it to make a point, elicit a reaction, and guess what? It worked.
Is an AR-15 inherently dangerous? Is a knife inherently dangerous? FBI Statistics on US Murders will show you that in 2014 that 248 deaths were reported by rifle, 1567 were reported by knife. In 2014, just under 10,000 deaths were reported as having occurred as the result of drunk driving, and that's just about 1/3rd the total deaths that occurred by automobile. Are cars that inherently dangerous? When you read about the death of an entire family because of a drunk driver, do you immediately blame the car? I'll be honest, I've seen people blame the driver for their choices.
I'm not trying to sell you that guns are safe, and I'm not even trying to change your point of view, but there is an alarming amount of propaganda being thrown around these days, that people have stopped paying attention to facts. A Philadelphia columnist recently wrote an article about how she was able to buy an AR, and the paperwork and background check took only 7 minutes. Shocking right? That a background check would have any pertinent court records, or arrest records of a U.S. Citizen be accessible to a gun shop that quick. Can you imagine though, if there were no court records, no records of any kind, how long would that be? How thorough is that background check? Oh, wait, all the Syrian refugees are getting a background check, but without access to actual background information. Think about that a little more, if you can't do it in 7 minutes for someone with a background you can check, how can you do it for someone without a background you can check?
I digress a bit, from my point though. My daughter read some of the salient points from Mr. Kuntzman's article, and asked me why someone would publish something like that, something that is not true. I had to explain her that an editorial is an opinion piece, not a factual piece, and in this day and age is often simply used to push a political agenda, facts be damned. As a journalism major myself, it stung to admit that, and the lesson that journalists report news, they don't make the news was perhaps no longer valid in today's society.
Did we all appreciate the irony in Mr. Kuntzman article? His comment that "You can't even have an opinion on assault rifles-unless it's their's, Here's the proof:" I'd point out that Mr. Kuntzman singles out certain responses, but what is he actually doing, other than mocking people who don't agree with him? Isn't he pretty much saying that unless you agree with him, you are worthy of be mocked? Strange, he had to write a follow-up people to express the fact that he did not appreciate being mocked himself.
He closes his piece by saying "...if that makes me a girl, well, maybe we should have a girl running the country." That's an interesting point Mr. Kuntzman, I'd suggest that instead of that being the punchline of your argument, you instead illustrate that ignorance, and unethical behavior are not gender specific. You make a great point that like Mrs. Clinton, when you can't talk intelligently about something, or lack the character to admit you are pushing a political agenda, you resort to the same tactics that she does. Bravo!
I took a philosophy class in college, I went for a couple of hours twice a week, for a semester, but I don't present myself as knowledgeable. I'd wager I spent more time in that class than Mr. Kuntzman did researching, or shooting for his article.Sure, Mr. Kuntzman did not present himself as knowledgeable, and considering his hyperbole, it's evident he isn't. You know what else comes across? The appearance that he went to shoot an AR to reinforce an opinion that he already had. Does anyone believe he went with an open mind, wanting to really find out? Or do you believe that he went with an already formed opinion, and simply wanted fodder to take advantage of the recent incident and write his article? So let me ask, how much should his opinion even matter? I have strong opinions about several types of food, but I don't think my opinions are universal, nor do I think that everyone else must appreciate things the same way that I do.
And that's why I realize I'm a bad parent. I've got a ten year old who has developed something that I don't see in politicians, and almost never see in the media. It's perhaps less socially acceptable than ever, and it may give her a harder time growing up. It's called character. I might be a bad parent, but I guess I'm still proud that she has more than many of the knee-jerk, reactionary bull-shit artists that dominate the headlines have. I remember a time, not long ago where that mattered.
This year I'll skip Father's Day celebrations, and ponder the damage I've done to my daughters shoulder, and her psyche, and how much I'll have hurt her future by thinking that character mattered. I hope it goes without saying that there are thousands of ways for parents to instill that, and shooting is not the only way, it's just the way it worked out for our family. That said, look at what's going on, and you'll see it's a trait that obviously many did not value.
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| Short Term PTSD or Genuine Happiness? You Decide |
There is definitely a discussion to be had about guns, but as a country we seemingly aren't ready to sit down, talk facts, and work towards a solution, no, we're going to continue to let the politicians divide and conquer us, thinking our special interests matter, and not realizing it's simply a matter of power. Someday we'll talk about violating due process, and your belief that the government should have the ability to remove someone's rights without any proof, with no notification, leaving a person to find out for themselves why it happened. That scares me, that's more dangerous than any gun has ever been, but then again, that's just my opinion, isn't it? We could talk about how passing laws that duplicate laws we have already have will work. We can talk about what makes you believe that criminals will suddenly obey laws, and turn in guns if that sort of law is passed.
Is it strange that I believe my ten year old daughter has more character in her little finger than someone pushing a political agenda without a clue like Mr. Kuntzman? Perhaps, but what should really be alarming to anyone reading this, is that it's probably true. Mr Kuntzman, a suggestion? Stay in your "safe place", don't dare to think beyond yourself, or to use your pulpit to make this a better world. There are 10 year olds out there who are better prepared to do that than either of us.
Until that day.....
